A Little (Short) Encouragement for your Holiday Gathering…Merry Christmas!

The holidays are stressful and wonderful for many reasons. Yet one reason that can also add anxiety, and even dread, is family gatherings. It is the same for so many; we gather around the kitchen, telling stories, retelling stories over and over as if telling for the first time. My children have heard many of the stories we tell every year since birth; even still, they say each time that they have never heard that one before. It never fails.

Often, the retelling of these stories evokes emotion. We laugh and banter, trying to diminish the effect, however, underlying the ruse is hurt, frustration, and a deep desire to defend yourself by wanting to tell the story as it happened or to say that it is not who you are anymore. Maybe even stronger is the desire for your family to stand up for you without hesitation. Underscoring the growth and grace that you have fought so hard to attain.

I want to encourage you as you prepare to come together over the holidays or any gathering of family or friends in the future. One of the first signs to defend oneself is temper. According to Andrew Murray, temper is the evidence of whether the love of God is “filling the heart.” This is so helpful. In the moment you feel the temper start to rise, be mindful. Immediately go to the Lord in prayer. He is your ever-present help in your time of need (Psalm 46:1). Take a practical approach, get up and clear the table, offer to refill drinks, go check on the children, or start to wash the dishes. Serving others is the quickest way to diffuse a situation and offer a moment to pray and receive help from the Lord.

Let me speak directly to you for a moment. God is working in your life. Let these moments be an opportunity to stand for the work He has begun in you and let the testing prove to build the perseverance that builds the maturity so that you may be perfected, lacking nothing (Philippians 1:6, James 1:2-4).  Also, stay humble. Own your past, have grace for the one telling the story, and if necessary, politely say that is not how you remember it. Offer a transition statement, like, “God has been good to me,” or “Praise God for His goodness to me.” Then, offer to refill those drinks.

Let your temper be used to remind you that you need Christ each moment, let it be an opportunity for you to lean in to the Lord as He will stand with you when no one else will. He is a sure foundation (Isaiah 33:6).

Additionally, God gave us our emotions for a reason. They alert us. We are not to ignore the feelings but bring them to the Lord and ask why we feel that way. Maybe you need to be reminded of God’s promise to you; maybe you need to see again all God has done for you and the healing that has already taken place. Maybe, God is giving you an opportunity to tell others how God has changed your life and speak up that will change the conversation in the future.

Finally, let this be a reminder that other family members may feel the same way. Look for opportunities to stand up for them. Watch for their tempers and be quick to offer a kind word of affirmation. Retelling a story can be great fun, but it does not need to hurt someone in the process, adding more harm. Maybe some stories need not be told. Maybe the more vulnerable stories need to be shared, offering hope to those who are listening. These stories of grace, thankfulness, and telling someone you are proud of them and that you love them will be the healing balm that could change everything.

Emmanuel, God with us. Let us make room for Him at the table.

Heather

A New Thing, Just Hold On…

As a friend recently reminded me, it has been a while since I have written. I have some big news coming, so I thought I would give a quick update from the past several months. It seems we have been in the fast lane, waving at everyone as we pass by. This has been a season, this has been the excuse—whichever way you want to frame it. Regardless, it feels more like a “fly by the seat of our pants” moment than “in the flow.”

I guess in some seasons, the pendulum can swing high and fast one way, which means that it will fall low and hard the other way, and back and forth until it slows to the “new” equilibrium. This is us right now, slowing to a new normal.

Because it is new, it doesn’t feel familiar and steady just yet. However, I am reminded of Isaiah 43:19: “Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”

This verse has meant so much to me over the years. I can remember the first time that I read this and felt the Lord say to me—during a very dark season—”just hold on.” It has shown up many times in other seasons when I wanted answers and felt so desperate for something to change.

However, the encouragement in those moments “to hold on” was attached to my idea of what a “new thing” could possibly mean. I can quickly offer the Lord several scenarios for Him to consider. It would be a momentary balm to my heart—to dream and imagine things the way I want them to be or think they should be. In those moments, I am so far down in the trenches that anything can feel better than the current circumstances. Yet, my mind is on repeat, I keep going back to the hard moment I find myself in, begging God to do something, even something new, then I attach my ideas of the “new thing” He could do and repeat, over and over again, just going around in a circle.

The good and maybe hard thing here is to understand that “I am doing” is in the present, active tense, which means that it is happening in the present and is ongoing, in each present moment. 🙂

The good news is that God is always working on our behalf to accomplish His will in our lives—new things. The hard news is that He is always working on our behalf to accomplish His will in our lives—new things.

During a hard and trusting season, we want relief. It can feel like a roller coaster of ups and downs—times of refreshment with deep times of trench work, i.e., prayer, fasting, digging into God’s Word, and waiting—so much waiting. Yet, a verse like this will comfort us with a promise that this too shall pass. Embedded in this hope is that there will be an end and then felt relief.

The greater reality is that God is constantly doing a “new thing,” and He is asking you if you can perceive it. This underscores the expectation of what it means to walk with God: into new territory that has yet to be claimed for His glory. It may be greater “yieldedness” to His purpose for your life, greater surrender to His plan, or greater trust in Him for His will to be done. Collectively, it is always about faith. Is He trustworthy? Is He good?

The temptation is to be single-focused on how God will do a “new thing” in my life. However, rarely do His plans only involve you. Usually, our prayers and petitions involve someone we care deeply about. Even if that someone is ourselves, the plan will often involve orchestrating others to bring it about. For instance, doctors to bring the diagnosis, a company to offer a job, or a person to bring dinner. So much in the works to bring about deliverance. He is always working on our behalf. The hard part is to stay the course.

Every now and again, God will let us see a glimpse of what He is up to. I call these green pasture moments, where He leads us beside the still waters and restores our souls (Psalms 23). Our flesh, when we come to these moments, wants to stop maybe even quit. Yet, we are on a journey. This is a moment of refreshment, but our eyes must stay set on where God is taking us.

And where is God taking us? I love this so much. This is a soul-deep promise to each of us. He is taking us to the “immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20). This means when I attach my ideas of a “new thing” that I think He can do for me to bring relief and rest to my wandering weary soul, I am limiting God to only what I can see. I make God small and finite into my limited views.

Honestly, what we long for, what God has for us, is so much more. And left to Him to do only what He can do is so much better. Why do we settle for a temporary moment of reprieve when He has that plus so much more for us that genuinely satisfies us but also sustains us during the hard seasons because He beckons us to come to Him:

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

God is doing a “new thing.” “Can you not perceive it?”

Be encouraged to look up from where you are. Let Him give you a fresh perspective into His kindness. He is a good, good Father, and He loves you. Are you surrounded by others who can speak these words of truth over you while you are face down in the trenches doing important work? Maybe more importantly today, can you muster a breath to the Lord and ask Him to show you His glory? Just a glimpse can change your life forever.

Blessings,

Heather

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Top Ten Things That Got Me Through 2022…

I would ask you if you could believe that we are ending another year, but I already know the answer.  Time feels like a vapor. With social media, so many memories pop up on my phone, reminding me how fast time flies.  It is a mixed feeling of joy and thankfulness, tinged with sadness. 

The mountain I climb all year intensifies to ensure my family sees Christmas. It is the finale. Every tradition, every celebration, every meal, and every gift are like a test and a reward. Then we begin the descent. However, the descent happens too fast, and we come crashing down, landing hard and maybe wounded. We spend the week between Christmas and New Year’s trying to gain some perspective and make promises that next year will be different. We approach the new year with bible studies and journals in hand, new workout clothes for our new exercise goals, and so begins the cycle. With great hopes and expectations that next year we will arrive at Christmas with perfection.

Exhausting.

However, there is a better way, an actual Way, that will help you arrive at Christmas ready for Emmanuel.  See, Christmas is really a celebration of what has already taken place. It should be a wonderful reminder to you that God keeps His promises, and He will continue because He is faithful. He always finishes what He has started.

Is it possible to recognize the difference between the temporary (that which is passing away) and the eternal (that which will last forever)?  Can we put them each in their own categories and leave them there for a minute?

The goals we make each year, often, are temporary and pass away. This might be why we hold on so tight and work so hard to attain them. The intent of our hearts comes from a good place, but it is nonetheless a place of trying. It comes from a place of “do better.” We take it upon ourselves to master our flesh.  It is a temporary vain attempt. The culture is not helping either. We look for inspiration on social media and follow people who encourage us because, intuitively, we know we need help. We read books and listen to podcasts that, whether we want to admit it, we have bought into the tagline that we can become the best versions of ourselves, we can stay youthful, and we have the perfection that we long for. Yet, we are often left disappointed and defeated time and time again.

How can we keep pressing on and pressing in, finding victory in the journey, and seeing real and lasting progress in the wake?

Authenticity. True. Lasting.

When we pursue that which is eternal and lasting, that which leaves a legacy and an impact on our communities, we must come face to face with the brevity of life. Maybe this is why it is so hard. It feels uncomfortable to contemplate reality. We are growing older, and no healing balm can prevent it, though I will always try with my Mary Kay. No exercise program can keep us from sagging, and no seven steps to being a great wife, parent, or friend will save our marriages, children, or society. So, at best, we play the game, the manufactured game, that if we labor after temporary gratification and capture moments online, it will tell a temporary story that we are getting it right.

Yet, pursuing our futures in the temporary from an eternal perspective might just be the answer to our aspirations. We should take advantage of a new start to set our focus back on the important things in our lives. I love a new journal too. I love a fresh workout that breaks up the monotony. However, when our motivations are about ourselves, when we try to “do better” this year, we will soon find ourselves lacking.

Instead, let us commit our earnest energy toward what it means to be a disciple. Jesus said in Luke 9:23, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.”  So, to find authentic, true, lasting aspirations, we must deny ourselves, then, and only then, will we be satisfied.  It is a journey that we are on to be transformed into the likeness of Jesus, for the believer. It is not easy, but it is freedom. It does come with a cost, but it is worth it. If you sense God calling you to Himself, reach out to me, I would love to talk about it with you.

Top Ten Things that got me through 2022:

• Shane and Shane- I listened to the Psalms album over and over. I start with Psalm 45, then just move through them. I turned off self-help podcasts, I turned off all the noise for an extended time and let the sung words of God wash over me and clean me till my own heart would sing it too.
• Threw away my scale- My husband did this for me, mostly because he was tired of hearing about it, but it proved to be the start of a very beautiful reality. I did not realize how the scale in the bathroom was taunting me. It was subtle, but regardless, I stopped wondering about my weight. Then, I decided to work toward being strong and flexible. Perimenopause is a beast. One that we really don’t talk about much. Unless you are around me, I talk about it. I want others to know how I have managed it and what I have learned. This is evolving, but I have learned some things. First, move your body, regardless of what promise the supplement companies make. Weight on a scale is not the goal. Let it go. This is a hard one for me, for too many reasons to mention here. Though I know, it is a hard one for each of us. Move your body. Also, stop looking at yourself. We have a warped view anyway; see yourself through the eyes of others and let them be your mirror. (Definitely check yourself in the mirror. Make sure your mascara hasn’t smeared, and your clothes are in the right place 🙂 )
• Put away social media (in a general sense)- I stopped watching other people live their lives. They are running their race, and it is not mine. Most of the time, it was a hindrance to my race, a distraction, and a diversion to doing my training for my own race, my practice, and my disciplines. I started to limit my time on others’ feeds, and I sought out bible messages, verses, or prayers. I would intentionally look up people I wanted to check on or text them instead of scrolling. I added a coloring app to my phone for when I had too much time on my hands or was just wanting to avoid life for a minute.
• Started cooking intentionally- This was a hard one for me. I don’t love to cook much, but I do love to feed my family. I realized how much I complained about cooking and started to get on board with the fact that my people eat food daily. Crazy, I know. They will snack until it’s all gone and still be hungry. It has been a labor of love but has brought me much freedom and peace. I try to have it planned and start cooking early as needed. Did I say freedom?
• My face to the sun- Vitamin D from the sun is irreplaceable. The warmth is healing, and it does so much for your mental state. Dr. Denmark, my go-to for all things baby, said ten minutes of the sun from birth, and that is without sunscreen, for absorption of Vitamin D. I have done this for us all, but even more so during and after the pandemic. Do your own research and make your own decision 🙂
• Collagen- Adding collagen to my coffee each morning helps my joints, my hair, and my skin. It does what it says it does; nothing fancy here but to do it. I have found a favorite. Message me if you want to know.
• Learned the words, “that’s not my problem”- In ministry, and life, the freedom comes when I stand firm on what I profess with my mouth that it is truly the Lord’s work to give eyes to see and ears to hear; for me, for my husband, for my children, and for anyone.  I am tired of trying to hold it all together and to even hold each one up to the Lord. The needs are too many, I am too weak. It is paralyzing, and I make a terrible savior.
• Went to bed earlier- For many years, I was the last to go to bed. It was my quiet hours before the morning craze. Perimenopause had me up all hours (and no cute baby to occupy), plus I did not get that good sleep anymore. So, prioritizing sleep has been huge, and I listened to my body.
• Recognized when I was striving- I learned, and I am learning to recognize what it feels like to strive.  What I mean is the feeling I get when I am confronted with a situation, and I begin to fix it. I start to work my brain so hard to come to an understanding, a plan of action, and sometimes a frenzy. When I begin to feel this way, I pause and confess to the Lord my own angst and desire, then I ask Him for wisdom and direction. At best, He provides His presence. It is a game changer. It has built renewed intimacy. I am so desperate for more.
• Similarly, I fought to offload the burdens in my heart and believe God at His word that His burden was light. This is an ongoing battle, but it is proving to be worth it. When my heart is heavy, when I feel insecure, when I am upset at a situation, or when I am anxious about everything, I ask the Lord to take it from me. This is a hard thing to do. But life is hard. I seek to do the hard thing that lightens the burden rather than remain under the yoke that God freed me from.

I pray that each of you will live your life considering the eternal blessings that are yours in Christ Jesus. That you will run your race with endurance to your finish line. I look forward to sharing with you in the new year.

Blessings to you and Happy New Year!

Heather

Are you there God, it’s me Heather…

Have you ever wondered where God is or what He is doing? Have you ever had your faith challenged or your belief in God feel empty? Of course, you have. Our flesh is constantly in a battle against our spirit, and you feel it too. God’s mysterious ways are just that, a mystery; however, in His Word, He gives us more knowledge and help in understanding than we give Him credit. We often resist the help that He has already provided. Last night, Chad was telling me about His time in God’s Word and how he was able to encourage a guy he met for coffee who is going through a difficult time. He said, “I told him of the passage, ‘gird up the loins of your mind.’” (1 Peter 1:13). He continued to tell me what that meant, which was familiar to me, as I agreed with him, he said, “Did you hear what I said?” I immediately said yes, but as I said it, I heard it in my head again, and I realized what was just said. When men would go out to battle, they would have to tuck the edged of their long robes into their belts to run and move, unencumbered. However, the light bulb moment came when he said, “we tuck those loose ends into the belt of truth.” So, the loose ends of our thinking are often void of truth, faith, and wisdom, yet full of fear, pride, and want. As I continued to apply this thought to my current thinking patterns, I realized that I had some loose ends of thinking that were holding me hostage. As a result, I was anxious, worrisome, and afraid.

God tells us, through His Word, to tuck the loose ends of our thinking into the belt of His truth and walk freely, without a misstep. So, I, actively started to focus on His truth and not my loose ends. I was reminded that He is faithful and true (Rev 3:14). That He brought me out of darkness into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9). He told me in Psalm 62:10 not to trust oppression. And as I continued with this discipline, I sensed the reality of 1 Corinthians 10:4-5, which says:

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. 

The oppression, the bondage, and the yoke we feel are holding us hostage and are not true. In Christ, we can cast down these arguments in our head, the loose ends of our thinking, and the conversations that keep us up at night. They are opposed to what is true about who God is and His nature of love and care for each one of us. We often overcompensate with our thoughts where our flesh is the weakest. The truth is, we are so utterly dependent on God for everything; He is the Author and the Finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). Yet, we stay hostage to this world when we harbor our thoughts as a haven when we should tuck them into the belt of truth. This allows us to run our race of faith without tripping over ourselves and give God room in our lives to be made perfect in our weakness (2 Cor.12:9). 

If you have only a moment today, take the moment to consider what this means for you. Let’s clear out some mental space for the Lord to fill our minds with what He has for us to accomplish for Him and His glory, which is the fulfilled life in Christ that satisfies all our longings.

Blessings. 

Dreams do come true…

I wonder how many of us have become so complacent and dulled to life as we know it, that the memories of promises made years ago, that are deep in our hearts, have long faded? I’ve mulled over this for days now. Do we even remember what they are? As seasons come and go, so often, so go our expectations. Did God say that He delivered us, set our feet in a broad place, and counted us as worthy of brotherhood, co-heirs with Jesus? Is there a purpose, higher than the day to day grind? Is pulling up my bootstraps each day the catalyst for doing the hard stuff, getting past the opposition?

Often, our current attitude resembles that of bondage, hardship, struggle, and more of the same. We are bombarded daily with hassles that forge a reality so different than the One we sing about in worship on the weekends or the One we read about in our few minutes of devotion. Life as we know it, the days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, months turn into years. Dreams disappear. Life becomes about survival, trying not to die, and in the meantime, we forget to live.

The Israelites found themselves in Egypt for over 400 years. Josephs’ family of seventy people that joined him there during the famine had grown to over a million. Life as they knew it in Egypt, maybe a promise long ago, was forgotten or was hidden by the day to day while living among the Egyptians. Generations had come and gone. Complacent? Maybe. Normalized into a different culture? Most likely.

It wasn’t until a new Pharaoh came on the scene who did not know of Joseph and the favor the Israelites received during the famine over 400 YEARS BEFORE. He looked around and saw how many Israelites were among them and decided that they just might, suddenly, take over. Slavery, oppression, and bondage are words that are often used to describe this time for the nation of Israel. They cried out to God. He heard their cry. He remembered (and no, He never forgot) His covenant and promise to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. He made a promise to make them a great nation, to give them a land to dwell in, that they would be His people, and He would be their God. A hope and a future, abundantly.

It would seem, based on the text, it was not until they were suffering under the hand of Pharaoh did they cry out to God for deliverance. They were pressed down in their circumstances and began to ask God for help. We know from reading the story that God heard the cries of His people, but it would still take time for His plan for the Exodus to manifest itself in an actual journey. He would raise Moses, send him back to Egypt, and then bring along Aaron to help confront Pharaoh.

We have the insight as to the purpose of the plagues and all the hardships. We even know the end of the story. It was never the plan to remain in Eygpt. They were uprooted. The day to day life became one of slavery and oppression. They became desperate and wanted relief. It was through the struggle that God was delivering them up and out of a land of bondage to fulfill a promise made so many years before. I am not sure they knew that they needed delivering until the hard times came, they most likely would never have even asked for help had it not gotten so hard. Yet, a bigger story was still hanging in the valence, and the future of a nation was at stake: A picture of a Kingdom to come and God’s will, yet to be done. Life everlasting.

It would not be a comfortable journey for the nation of Israel to relocate to the desert on their way to a land promised generations before. However, it is in this time of rescuing, that the Lord removed the clutches of the familiar world. He begins to awaken in them a longing that there is something more. He begins to show them who the God of Israel is. Pretty crucial for the days ahead. Pretty essential for us, too, as believers.

It makes me consider the clutches of today’s’ culture on the people of God. We live in a world that, at the heart level, is no different than the days of old. There is low hanging fruit, and glittering lights all around, that distract us, draws us in, and causes us to forget why we are here and the more significant work of the Kingdom. We settle for temporary satisfaction while thirsting for real impact and purpose, which dulls the God- placed desires in us to be used with our talents, dreams, and lives, for His glory and renown.

The grip this world has over us is manifest in our obsessions: Family, money, health, safety, experiences, comfort, fighting for injustice, or politics. These are all important things when placed the right order. Could it be that all that we see, and maybe all the oppression and frustrations we are feeling, are just the beginning? It compels us to cry out to God for all the uncertainty and confusion; for all the pain and suffering we see around us, in us. There are new desires that awaken in our hearts, big dreams remembered, and the same promises of deliverance to a generation.

I believe that He has heard our cry and that He is actively working right now to bring forth leaders like Moses and Aaron, like you and I, to unveil the Glory of our God. We are reminded of His promises, and we are on our way to a Promised Land. The uprooting is His deliverance. Every day there is more uncovering of the heart of man. The exposure of all that hides in our hearts reminds me of Who this God of Israel is. He is the Most High God, the only One worthy of our praise, and He deeply desires for His Kingdom to come on earth as it is in Heaven. He is also Holy, powerful, and working to accomplish His will. It should caution us to remember, we should allow Him to search us and try us and see if there is any unclean thing within us and lead us in the way of righteousness.

He is the gift-giver. He is the dream-fulfiller. He gives us the desires of our hearts. We do not need to be greedy and hold on to the worldly passions but offer ourselves to Him for the manifestation of His glory in us and through us as He fulfills these desires.

Let us look to the God of the Nations, see Him moving mightily to the rescue, and let us behold Him and proclaim to the world His redemption to all humanity for anyone who would believe in His Son, Jesus. Come, just as you are, for He who is Holy, has made the way for you to enter His Promised Land, to be used, all that He has made you to be, for good works. To Him, be all glory and honor and praise. Amen.

Happiest of Thanksgivings to you and yours,

Heather

 

What do we do with it all?

You know those times when your mind races from one thought to another and all the sudden you realize your pulse is racing and you feel overwhelmed? That is me right now.

Shooting guns

Dead bodies

Halloween

Friendly Costumes

End of quarter grades

College

Flu shots

Hurricanes victims

Dinner

Work

Bills

Christmas Vacation

Christmas presents

Election

Voting

Illness

Black lives matter

Immigrant lives matter

Jewish lives matter

High School Bible study

FCA

White supremacy

Blue lives matter

Babies matter

White lives matter

Men matter

My life matters

I. CAN NOT. EVEN. STOP

What do we do with it all? How do we never forget yet live in light of it all? The bible says that Jesus died to give us life and not only that but abundant life? Doesn’t feel much like it to me, does it to you?

As you search for the words to share with your families and friends and whomever, about the current state of our national affairs, let us consider, what is that one message that needs to be heard loud and clear. IF I only had one shot to get it right.

I would say, REMEMBER THE LORD. Time and again throughout the pages of scripture, after trial and devastation and death and bondage, wrongfully accused, or profound sin, God took over the story: mostly because it is HIS story, but also because He alone is able. Our only response is to stop still in our tracks and watch for the salvation of the Lord, then to join Him. He takes our mess and makes something beautiful.

I am a co-heir with Jesus. That means that all that is His is mine, but that does not make me Him. I am the hands and feet of Jesus, but that does not make me Jesus.

As a result, I am VERY careful to watch my mouth and how I insert myself into God’s story. Even now, I pray that the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in His sight.

To remember the Lord means to remember first and foremost, that He is the Most High God. Secondly, it would be awesome to remember that I am not God, nor other people. Next, make much of His great salvation, which is perfect, complete and lacking in nothing, for all who will believe on Him.  Then, after much praise and adoration for all that He has done and is doing, remember a most precious gift, His Spirit. The same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead LIVES inside of Every. Single. Believer. SAME. Neither different nor divisive nor against Himself.

So what will we do with this truth and how will you spend your words. Let us exalt His name above every other name and make sure our eyes are set toward Him, the Author and Finisher of our faith.

“I lift my eye to the hills, where does my help come from, my help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121)

#wetoo

Heather

Bittersweet

I have spent the last ten minutes looking up a word to describe the last few months. I could not find a word that adequately articulated my heartstrings. They are certainly playing a robust melody these days: From exuberance to deep pain. My friend touched on it pretty succinctly; “ there is a time to weep and a time to laugh; and a time to mourn and a time to dance.” (Ecclesiastes 3:4) It is a daily mixture of bitter and sweet. A happy moment is never far from the weight of a hard moment and to be present in each moment is an act of stewardship. Moments, no matter how hard or devastating or accomplishing and celebrated, we must be present.

I will jokingly say while moving through a big milestone, “my mantra is to feel nothing.”  Those words are telling to the condition of my feelings, and it helps me to keep it light in the moment. I have had several of those moments recently. First, my husband and I decided that God was leading us to do discipleship and leadership development full time. A huge career change that took months to discern and in early May, we launched from our current ministry position where we have served for almost 18 years. There is so much to say about this decision, but mostly, we are thankful to have raised our family in this community. It is our family. Bittersweet.

May also brought with it three graduations and two, really big birthdays. My youngest son, the baby, finished kindergarten. I have had a child on the preschool hall at our church for the last eighteen years:  So weird. Next, the middle guy finished middle school with a date to the dance, how is this possible? My fourth son turned ten. This is a big birthday around here because they can invite their friends to a sleepover, does not matter how many! That’s not all, my oldest baby, turned eighteen and graduated from high school. I keep looking back over my years with them and consider so much. If I linger too long, I cannot breathe and yet, there is anticipation of what is still to come. Bittersweet.

In the midst of all the celebrations and tear jerking moments, my friend battled cancer with her five year old baby and as devastating as that was and still is, she can say that Jesus won, not cancer, praising God for hope and the feeling of peace and the promise of the resurrection, in the most unbearable circumstances. All the while, another sweet friend was preparing to say goodbye to the baby that God had privileged her to conceive. She has watched the Lord do the miraculous over and over as she was able to give birth to him and hold him and though we are still praying fervently for His complete healing, she is testifying to His presence and nearness during this uncertain time; so very bitter mingled with hopeful sweetness.

These are only a few of the circumstances that I am praying through and for. I am heavy for those who are preparing or have already sent their children off to college, those battling sickness, hearing loss, infertility, depression, loss of a baby, suicide, loss of family members, unhealthy relationships, and political uncertainty, to name a few, all so very bitter. Yet, celebrating new birth, graduations, career change, marriage proposals, baseball, basketball, and all the fun summer activities, such sweetness.

I read a quote, recently, from Lysa TerKeurst, it said, “ Lord, please help us remember each day that You gave us emotions so we could experience life, not destroy it.”

This is just so good. This is the sweetness. To experience life is to bare each other’s burdens and to celebrate all the goodness of God, even in suffering. The suffering is not good, but God is. He gives us green pastures along the way as well as times of refreshing. He is the goodness. We cling to Him. I cling to Him, for myself, for others, and rest in the knowledge that other friends are clinging to Him for me. This is using our emotions to give life; stewarding well.  My daily salvation is found only in Him, but it is manifested in hard seasons by the faithful prayers of the righteous. To all of you who have prayed for our family, invested in my children, offered a meal, a helpful hand, an encouraging word…I lean into my helplessness on the prayers and thoughts that you have towards my family. It has saved me from desperation, many times over. Thank you. Please do not stop.

I consider it an honor to do the same for you as I think on you and your circumstances. May I never forget how your prayers have sustained me and I will seek to be faithful to each of you. Enjoy the pictures as a glimpse of all that the Lord has in His hands and only this is a very, very small view of the whole world that He is sovereign over. Glory is to Him who is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than we ask or imagine: With our pain and with our milestones. We cannot even imagine the more He has for us, for you. Our emotions are meant to give life, not to destroy, let us be the sweet to the bitter.

Congratulations!

Class of 2018!

HaPpY bIrThDay!

That smile! MHS bound!

Ten years, I cannot…

Kindergarten done for #5!

Bravery for Avery, we will never forget, you can still help… https://www.youcaring.com/parentsofaveryandyandemilyneill-1047204

Pray for sweet Daniel!

It matters…

Yesterday was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. I do not know how days like these originate; who declares a day to be a day of remembrance. I will say that it encouraged my heart. It resonated as right, in a world of so much wrong. A day set aside to remember loss became a day of life to my heart. An awakening that united hearts of mother’s and father’s that screamed out “it matters, life matters and loss is real!” I’ve known through my journey onward that it mattered to God. He was proven faithful, each time, as I reckoned with my own faithlessness during my times of grief. He was there all along whispering into my heart, “It matters to me.” Such comfort. As days move on and normal glosses over the wound, suffering goes unnoticed to the common eye. Yet the pain is real and time only heals, the healing balm of Gilead touches those places and mends.

It was the yielded heart of Mary who watched her Son pour out His life for the world; what loss, what grief, what hope. Only God can bring life out of death; His Promise to us. So often we allow the questions and hurt to bring division rather than let it usher us into His arms of grace and mercy. We deal with the pain by covering and ignoring and pretending it’s okay. It’s not okay. Grief takes time. As with any wound, the healing process is crucial and if not allowed the time to complete, will cause major complications down the road; days and even years of disability.

We see that everywhere. Disability. Disabled by pain, hurt, suffering, fear, worry, tired. We go on day after day, suffocating and snuffing out life. Yet, we know that He died so we could live. How do we do that? How do we get up and let the wounds heal while life goes on, enabling rather than disabling?

We remember. We remember His word to us upon which He caused us to hope and His comfort in our suffering is this: His promise preserves our life (Psalm 119:49-50 modified).

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, that I know full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand-when I awake, I am still with you (Psalm 139:13-18 NIV).

He knows us all, intimately and sweet. May we run to Him. Thank Him for life. Celebrate His goodness to us, with every heart beat. Ours and theirs. We have a responsibility to represent to a lost world that is fading away, life abundant. Life eternal. Even in the hard places. He lives. He resurrects. Fight for it. It matters.

In remeberance of sweet Baby Elle and Joseph Patrick, with love, Mom and Dad